Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Its about making memories worth repressing
The beer is more important than you right now.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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