sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
