I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She even gives head with a lisp.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
