You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize