Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
