I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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