Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize