i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
