Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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