yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
