areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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