She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
