oh god the rape fog is back!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
