I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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