Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I want to fling myself into the sun
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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