I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
