Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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