I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
