I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
