i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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