I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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