no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize