I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize