where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
