Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Randomize
