the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
