i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
