Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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