This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
