using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Randomize
