I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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