I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
