My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize