then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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