I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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