btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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