All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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