So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize