i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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