I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
