Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
