You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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