i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
