I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
And my parents said I crawled through the house
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize