I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
