Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
