She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
