Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
