She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
