Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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