His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize