Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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