Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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