He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
