OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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