Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
