It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
