Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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