So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
