The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
two words...techno handjob
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize