I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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