my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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