This girl is more easily done than said...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
