I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
